the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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