she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
