So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
