accomplished twins. life is a go
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
