Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
