I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
