We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
