like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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