Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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