it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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