I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
