So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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