No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
