The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
