hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
