Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
