Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
