sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
