They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
