Pants 0. Shit 1.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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