i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
