you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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