u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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