you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
