This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
