Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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