i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
