I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So much rum. So many feels.
Randomize
