see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
