I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
