it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
