drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
