My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
