All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
