Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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