i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
