hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
