Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
