return my video game
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
