So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
