It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
