hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
