Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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