i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
