apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
