Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
