Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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