When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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