hell yes lets make some ravioli
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
