'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
