Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
